2008 ISSUE 1

Hello Citizens! Welcome to yet another college year with its highs and lows. We'd like all the first years to know that we're watching you. Not like we're not watching you other scum. Anyhow, this issue is dedicated to our most ardent slacker – Fother, whose absence is sorely missed.

placement.nitk.ac.in

Despite grim forebodings of recession, inflation and bad weather, placements have kicked off on a high note with Oracle and Accenture recruiting by the dozen. Royal mech has dazzled in numbers since while the moolah is being raked in by the comp geeks.

Compsci topper Somit and roommates Rajat & Manish walked away with the fattest wallets, courtesy D E Shaw. Other biggies were Netapps (Chintan), Yahoo (Madhava), Adobe (∏mp & Charith), GS (IEEE Conman & GB couple), Nvidia (IEEE Matha), Bajaj (Arora), Cisco, ZS (Sania, Gult, Bunty, Parul, Megha), Strand (King Kadli and Anirudh).

PSU’s were the flavour of the month as record numbers turned up and got placed in NTPC, Coal India, C-Dot and Iocl. After placements the PSU boys have become avid news buffs keeping a keen watch on the workings of the 6th pay commission.

The MASS recruiters turned out not so heavy after all with Patni (7), Wipro (11) and Satyam (15) not hitting the BENCHmark. Five weeks into the season, the numbers are as follows – 323 of 488 in Btech and 53 of 198 in Mtech have been placed.

NW: EVEN KAIYA PLACED!! (Pappu panchvi pass se tez hai!)

Bijli & Paani Crisis







NW: What's the point?

Getting 'Tech'-Clubbed!

As every batch before them, present sophomores too rushed in headlong to be brow beaten and insulted before the clubs randomly chose their minions. Here are various snapshots of recruitment process that scarred one and all.

IE Interviewer: Ant1 is walking on the ground. Ant2 climbs onto a guy and bites him and is subsequently killed. Ant2 is a revolutionary. Comment.

WannabIE: (Speechless!)

NW: Traditionally the answer has been “I’m part of the college basketball team”. But we hear this hasn't worked this time.

CSI Interviewer: Rock, paper or scissors?

WannabeCSI: Rock, because I rock.

NW: Dumb and Dumber.

CSI Interviewer: "What did you get out of Engineer?"
To-be-clubbed Interviewee (girl): "I got to meet a lot of seniors"
*Blush*
ISTEman: What are your club preferences?
Aspirant: CSI, ROTO

NW: Burn!!

'We want to be as tech as possible' panel: So what event did you like by IEEE last year?
Aspirant: Mr. and Ms. NITK was very cool.
*Tech panel frowns*
Aspirant: Oh sorry, you guys conducted Adam and Eve! That was also very nice.
*Tech panel contemplates suicide*

NW Guide to getting clubbed:

1. Mentioning laziness as your primary attribute
2. Proposing the auctioning of seniors as a new and exciting event
3. Mentioning hobbies like shopping, sleeping & surfing (the waves, not the net).

Laziness and shopping made it into Roto, while surfing managed CSI. We believe successful adherence to all the above guidelines will land you in IE.

Shabby Posters

Adorning the walls of the beat up blocks were these pieces of memorable papyrus:

DDFC (Where life flows smoothly around you) welcomes all first years.

NW: Someone stole the yoga club’s thunder.

Management Forum poster (background decorated with formally attired foreigners) calling people interested in entrepreneurship.

NW: Someone please put this club out of its misery.

ISTE Reverbs Poster: “Veni Vedi Velcro”

NW: I came. I saw. I got stuck.

Aiming for the Moon

The tam boys of college are on an expansion and re-branding exercise after nature cut their numbers short. They have decided that the name ‘Machans’ gives them a more global appeal and contributes towards their all India recruitment. The process has been successful with recruits from as far as UP making it to the roster.

NW: Here a tam, there a tam; everywhere a tam tam.

MastIE

CarnIEval – It was the usual 'Fun for dummIEs' festival with several first years turning up and leaving with moth-in-wallet syndrome.

LIEtIEratIE – The absence of the green goblin (due to descent into the lower abyss that is 'HR') led to a no-complaint experience. SAM and co. won the quiz in a depleted field. MVPot was a regular affair subscribing to the age old policies of NITKPOT in order to avoid controversy. For a change, 2nd years emerged winners.

Mr. And Ms. NITK: How I learned to stop staring and exit the premises

The sole-tech-club-personality-event of the year opened to a full house, but the hand dealt throughout the show was ‘run’. For a change, the Karavalli Sports aunty gave way to the con-men of NITK to serve as jury. The usual hullabaloo and leering ensued, despite the portentous ‘quality quotient’, while hapless first years did futile tasks, prompted by freshly squeezed second years. The event also proved to be an endurance test with the fallen retreating to the blocks bruised and beaten.

Vitalstatistix: SurvIEval Time for Average NW member – 36.5 mins (with copious amounts of fuel).

Mr. And Ms. NITK:
Jive Workshop:

NW: Hamara number kab ayega?

Reverbs

ISTE finally shed its tortured 'cultural' facet, burying Adam and Eve. To start anew, the tasteless fest name was replaced with yet another meaningless conjuncture.

An all-girl first-year team created history by winning the ISTE pot, marking a new era of women’s liberation in the event. Also of note was the bottom scraping of the conmen duo and kaiya in the final.

LSD on LSD

LSD seems to be on a high with quizzes being held left, right and center. The ball was set rolling by Vada, an alumnus of the 2008 batch.
Vada: “ID maadi”
Thatha: “Diana Memorial”
Despite the above, the same Thatha and Stub were allowed to set the first LSD Spent which managed to garner quite a crowd. Bussu, miniMukka and Scratchemon emerged winners.
A flowery hand-written poster with a riot of colours was discovered in GB prior to the aforementioned Thatha-Stub quiz leading to speculations of a secret admirer of Thatha's in GB. However the culprit was discovered to be Litte.
A logo containing a toilet seat along with the names of the conductors gave us a glimpse of things to come in The First Pot. Stub, Camel and non-existentialist Hannibal emerged winners in the Pot where movie-repeat-questions seemed to be the theme for the day.

E-FOREA

Despite lacking a fest name and a joint con lost to their cause, e-forea successfully pulled off a panel discussion ‘creatively’ titled ‘Career Options’ and a fundraiser, ‘e-ntelligence’. Droves of first years flocked to the business quotient test lured by the Taj dinner promised to the winners.

Miniscule Musings

• Masses eager to open their new hostel rooms were taught the value of patience and red tape by being forced through 4 sets of queues and a bonus round for collecting the mess card. Rumours rage that a conveyor belt is due next year.

• CSI started off a new trend in club recruitments, with a newly established GCG™ quota. The first lady also took on the second title of mama bear for the year.

• As ever, the green goblin stole the prize once again for stirring up unnecessary controversy, when he accused the jiggling upper echelons of CSI, of blatant solicitation.

• Elections showed that even a campaign video with a background score from Sarkar Raj and phrases like “please please ‘ote for me-na?” can fail to “incite the spirit of tronix”.

• Third-year trical Hitler look-alike recently asked out one of our own, over a very romantic masala dosa in NFC, which he fully intended to share with her after receiving the affirmative.

• The first Rostrum debate of the year, centering on the validity of the nuclear deal was a crowd-puller with more than 30 people participating in the proceedings. This anomaly was rectified in the next debate with the usual single digit participation.

• The cat fight for the ‘extra’ engi joint con was rained off despite a 3 page why-i-should-be-engi-joint-con letter by Litte. The consolation prize titled Girl’s Coordinator of Engi (also contested by Litte) was awarded to IEEE Matha.

• Inci Open Meet: 25 people
Engi Mech Event Meet: 30 people

NW: You do the math!
• An unidentified male suspect was in for a disappointment when he broke into Fort GB. Manic depression led him to get caught by hostel authorities.

NW: Green Goblin's Protégé? We think so. We also pity him.

• A 1st year couple incited the wrath of GB after they were caught playing one on one 'basketball' after hours, leading to speculation that there maybe a further clamp down in Fort GB.

• For once a ‘tech club’ served its true purpose. IEEE’s SP Connect was quite the success with large amounts of people pouring in. We hear things did not get messIEEE.

• As per tradition, block parties have been springing up every now and then. We hope these won’t stop anytime soon.

•
Jiggling upper echelons: 'Hitman's friend is also hot'

NW: Intro korle mariah!


NW Recruitments

NW is on the prowl for acerbic, sarcastic, cynical writers who know how to inhale the effluence of decay and not pass out. Occupational hazards include dementia incurred by attending club events, carpel tunnel syndrome and anti-Stockholm syndrome. We plan to hold the grueling process of recruitments on Tuesday, the 2nd of September. All those interested land up in the main building with a pen at the stroke of six. Those late will be forced to engage in Gladiator-style combat.


The old timers:
∏mp, GBong, CONcat, OneSip, Litte, Pomeranian, n(ai)k, VampIyer, Camel, LiverDamage